loneliness...
loneliness is. can be. is now. intolerable. even more so in a room
full of people. strangers. knowing each other. being with each other.
contrasting your loneliness. amplifying it. at least alone in your
room you dont have to face your loneliness. you can pretend it isnt
there. or that everyone else in the world is alone too. i chose to
stay home tonight. but i didnt. i went out. and found myself alone.
jump. flashback. dreamworld. past. staring at her remembering another.
pushing giants rats into a pit. and the band plays on while she flirts
and cajoles her willing girlfriend. and i know who she is. was. in my
mind. she is not she i remember. but i like to dream. flashback.
remember. now. all worries gone. comfortably numb. body. mind.
separated. i look on as if someone else is standing there. i am just a
watcher. like a junkie. no emotion. only sensations. detached
sensations.
muse@musespace.com