insane. on marezine.
to slip into insanity is a very scary thing. i was sitting on the street.
waiting for rene to get out of class. talking to my bag. convinced. thinking
it was ben. seeing things not there. people. talking to them. like the other
wingnuts on the street. sense of balance gone. intense gravity feeling
everywhere. had to balance carefully. to not fall over. no thought. jump.
concentration. lost. talking and making no sense to rene. i keep thinking
rene is ben. and all these other people. why do i keep talking to them when
i know theyre not there. the most frustrating part. knowing youre crazy. and
not being able to stop yourself. i am incoherent. know it. cant. walking the
streets before it starts. it begins. i try to write. i look now. so hard to
read. no sense. logic. then. next few days. never quite back. next morning.
still things. at work. watching my hands hit the keys. every day it lessens.
but that fear. of never coming back. going out there. insane. on
marezine.
muse@musespace.com